Final Incoherent Adventure by Harry Harrison & David Harris

Author:Harry Harrison & David Harris [Harrison, Harry & Harris, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science Fiction, General, Humour, Fiction
ISBN: 9780575049840
Google: ZmmnuG3NvTMC
Goodreads: 64434
Publisher: Gollancz
Published: 1992-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 13

Bill zigzagged across the parking lot, hurdling a couple of small craters, his instincts telling him when to swerve away from an incoming bomb and when to dive into a larger crater for cover. One more large explosion, and he leaped out and forward again. He looked back and waved an arm to summon his comrades. "Follow me," he shouted.

He vaulted an overturned hovercar and ducked behind it to see if they were coming.

Sam and Sid weren't nearly as good at this as Bill was, but they were getting the hang of it. Fortunately, the Imperial Troopers weren't strafing; they weren't even attacking seriously. The bodyguards caught up, but before they could catch their breath Bill led them on a final dash across the last few yards into one of the few buildings still standing.

The two Eyerackians collapsed, gasping, into the nearest chairs. Bill, however, had not yet reached his goal, and he marched up to the counter.

"Three SuperHestburgers, three double beers. Fast," he said. "To stay." He turned back to Sid and Sam. "What do you guys want?"

An explosion rattled the windows, and the girl behind the counter ducked for cover. By the time she reemerged, Bill had the rest of his order. "One Chilly-Chili, One Horse Dog, a large Tranqui-Cola."

He carried the trays over to their table.

"Gee, Bill, we were sure lucky."

"Yeah, imagine finding an open Burger Barn. I haven't had a burger since ... since ... maybe I've never had one before. But I've seen the commercials!" Bill washed down the first burger with the first beer, in one gulp each.

The girl behind the counter turned on the holovision. A miniature President Grotsky, a little thinner than when Bill had met him and looking more than ever just like Sam and Sid, stood on the counter. "The war is going about as well as can be expected," he said, "under the circumstances. Casualties are pretty high on both sides, and there's a lot of nasty stuff falling out of the sky all over — rockets, bombs, shrapnel, pieces of airplanes and spaceships. I really suggest you stay indoors. The underground malls and tunnel trains are a good idea. Personally, I'm planning on staying in my bunker for the time being."

"Gee, poor old Millard doesn't sound terribly inspirational, does he, Sid?"

"No, Sam, he doesn't. But he is under a lot of pressure, after all."

"True enough, Sid. But at least he doesn't have to eat at Burger Barn." Sam poked reluctantly at his Horse Dog. "I don't think there's even any real horse in this thing."

"Doesn't have to?" Bill said with artificial ingredients dripping down his chin. "All this stuff is made from real processed meat-like food-type product. You can't get anything this good in the Troopers."

Sid nodded. "That explains why they're so aggressive."

Bill shoveled the last of his meal into his mouth, chewed two or three times, and swallowed. "Uuurrrppp," he eructed. "That was good. What's our next stop?"

"The neutron mine. At least we'll be safe there. Everything's underground, including the barracks where we'll be staying.

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